• It can be normal. Know that feeling anxious around stressful times can be a normal part of teenage years (and just life in general), sometimes just not freaking out about their emotions is the best thing you can do. It’s when it seems to be increasing or you notice they continue to be anxious around times that aren’t stressful that you might look into finding help.
• Be open to what they say. Don’t deny their experiences for how they are feeling anxiety. If your teen comes to you and wants to talk about their anxiety, be open to hearing what they have to say. Don’t give them the reasons they shouldn’t feel that way. Because although you might think you’re being helpful, you’re actually making yourself not a safe emotional person for them to talk to you in the future. 
• Set the example. Practice healthy coping skills yourself! You might feel your teenagers ignore you and don’t watch you, but believe me, they’re watching and still learning from you. If you’ve had a stressful day and you zone out by being on your phone or vegging out in front of the TV (or with a glass of wine)… your teens are watching. And obviously that’s not to say you can’t do those things but if you notice that is always your go-to without actually talking or expressing yourself, your setting the stage for your teen to do that as well. Instead set the example of saying something like, “I’ve had a really stressful day today, I feel my heart racing and I think I need to talk about it, or go on a jog.” (Or whatever it is for you!). But for you to be able to acknowledge your stress and verbalize a healthy coping skill is so powerful! 
• Get curious with them. Help your child acknowledge how they physically feel the anxiety in their body. And ask them questions around how they can tell they’re feeling anxious, what they do when they feel anxious. Just help them get curious, without necessarily needing to give them answers on how to “fix it”, because that reinforces that the anxiety is the enemy, which it’s not. 
• Help them untangle the anxiety. My last tool, which is honestly the most useful tool, the tool that is giving away all my therapy secrets, the tool that seems so counterintuitive that is doesn’t seem as if it could actually work, but it does. Ask your teen to talk about their anxiety as a “part” of them, not actually “them”. So basically untangling their core identity with the way they view their anxiety. If your teen feels like “I am anxious”, then they may have a hard time breaking those behaviors. Also, along with that, help find the positive intent that the anxiety part brings. Anxiety (as counterintuitive as it may seem) is trying to protect us as best as it can and in the only way it knows how. So if in that moment your teen is very anxious, don’t tell your teen “stop being anxious”, because that will make it worse. Instead say something like, “I notice a part of you is feeling really anxious right now, what are you physically feeling right now/ or do you want to talk about it right now/ or how can I best support you right now”. And I’m not saying this will work 100% of the time, but give it a try and see what happens. 

When is it time to seek out professional mental health support?

• If they ask you to see a therapist. First, if your child asks you if you can find them a therapist. Do it. That’s so brave of them to ask that of you. Don’t see it as a “I’m not good enough parent and they’re just going to talk about me”. In my experience if I see a teen who asked their parents to see a therapist, that means they feel emotionally safe enough to tell their parents that they’re struggling. 
• If they seem like they’re struggling. If you notice your teen is struggling in school or in their social life and you’re unsure what to do. 
• Never a bad idea. Basically, if the thought even crosses your mind that “maybe my teen would benefit from counseling”. Just do it. Even if your teen isn’t in complete disarray or have crippling anxiety or depression all teens (and adults) can benefit from therapy and from talking to a safe third party person who isn’t personally involved in their lives. 

Please read more about teen counseling and how that can be helpful here. If you’re in Texas I can meet with your teen over TeleHealth for therapy or if you’re in the Dallas/ Fort Worth area I can see them in person in my Southlake office. Please reach out here and I’d love to talk to you more about your teen and help you find support as well if you live in Texas.